What is a friend. Is it someone who makes you laugh, are they people you meet on the weekends or at a bar. Are your co-workers your friends. How about the person serving you coffee every morning or your mechanic, why not , if they greet you by name if you chat when you see them. Are people in your everyday life not your friends, sure they are or at least they can be.
In my opinion you cant choose your friends (not your true friends anyway) you can choose who you spend your time with, you can choose who you talk to, you can even choose where you work and where you live. However you cannot chose who will be there when you are down, when the walls are closing in. Thats when your true friends shine when they show (usually in the nic of time) when they reach out there hand and show they will not let you go.
During those times you can really appreciate why friends are so important. You never know who they may be or where they will pop up from, only time will tell.
When it comes to people you meet keep an open heart and a open mind you never know where a great friend may be hiding.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
conquering my fears
When I was young I had three fears: water, heights, and horses. My father believed in facing fears, He had me in swimming lessons at a young age. I remember one particular time when I just woulnt get in the pool, that was the first night I went without dinner. I guess that I am more scared of going without dinner, after that night just try keeping me out of the water.
At 11 years of age he slowly coaxed me to try riding horses, by 12 yeayrs old I was riding english style weekly till the adolescent age of 15 when I quit all of my activities, besides boxing I guess you could say fighting was my fourth fear. The other fear; heights, well, he never made me deal with that one, he said that heights is a healthy fear, he would compare jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to wrestling crocodiles; just plain stupid.
With all of my fears, swimming to this day is my biggest rival. I am not really a fan of swimming pools, and I cannot do a straight forward roll to save my life. During the time my father took me to the riding stables for the first time, he also took me to a dive shop where they told me to come back when I was 12 and could do a forward roll ( at that time those were mandatory requirements) Back to the swimming pool I went, I mastered diving off the boards, but still could not do a forward roll, well after practise and lesson after lesson and still not getting anywhere with that bloody roll, I forgot about diving and swam only for fun. Another challenge that I had while swiming was that I would have trouble touching the bottom. I took deep shallow breaths and I had troubles letting all the air out of my lungs, still fearing the deep dark bottom of the pool.
When I turned 18 my father and I walked into the same shop from six years earlier and before I knew it I was signed up for a PADI open water S.C.U.B.A course. I will never forget that first time I used SCUBA in a pool, I was not prepared. I was so used to taking a deep breath while breathing that when it came time to put the breathing apparatus in my moulth I felt constantly air starved. That first lesson I went home in tears (well I was able to hold it in till I went in through the front door) I deffinitely did not think diving was for me. I told my dad that I did not think I could continue with this course, His response was try one more lesson then we will talk. I did and you know what; it didnt go so bad, I thought maybe I could finish the course. The third pool session however, I loved that sense of conquer, the feeling of being weightless, of being like a fish. Over that summer I finally finished and received my open water certificate by the time I turned 19.
For the next two years all I did besides work was dive, talk diving, dream diving, I quit boxing with one too many black eyes and tired of feeling punch drunk.
When I was 22 my father was working and living close to malibu, california. My life at that point was in need of some reconstructing, so when he asked if I wanted to live with him while I worked on SCUBA, I hit the road and went south. Even with all of my phobias and my need to procrastinate, I managed to pass my instructor exams with flying colours. Later however my fears came back and got the best of me. I knew that I wanted to be a great intructor, but I wasent convinced that I had enough actual diving experience or had what it takes, that little demon in the back of my head wouln't keep quiet.
When I turned 26 my wife, daughter, and I moved to campbell river so I could go to school to be a commercial diver, hoping that would give me the experience to feel truly confident. It did, for a minit. There we were in a new town, no money no friends, and that winter was really cold, none of that was good for the confidence, I received my unrestricted SCUBA, restricted surface supply and other tickets despite my lack of self confidence. I then went to work for a contract company that works for the fish farms in tofino, I just barely held on there for 10 months, my confidence up and down.
After leaving the Tofino situation, I bounced through three different dive jobs till I found a dive company that did a little of everything. I was placed on a boat called the Star Venture, it served as the pressure washing boat, this was where I worked for six months till they bounced me around to different jobs and different crews. That went on for another six months. After a year of working for that company I finally got a secure position with a crew and a work schedule that usually had me home at night, which was a very sweet gig which I stayed on for a year til work died down and then it was time to move on. With all of these experiences that I have dealt with, the many situations and different types of jobs, have greatly increased my confidence in my diving. I have come to the realization that there is one more fear that I must conquer before I can be a truly great instructor.
I first heard of toastmasters through Jeffrey Gitomers little book of series. It took me a few years to look into toastmasters. When I found out who to call it took me weeks of staring at the number before I picked up the phone. that demon in the back of my head that I mentioned earlier, hes getting quieter again for the moment, seems like every time I hold still he gets louder, when I knock those metaphorical walls down and begin to conquer my fears he goes away. Heres to knocking down those walls and never stop conquering your fears no matter how difficult or how many there are, one fear one step at a time.
At 11 years of age he slowly coaxed me to try riding horses, by 12 yeayrs old I was riding english style weekly till the adolescent age of 15 when I quit all of my activities, besides boxing I guess you could say fighting was my fourth fear. The other fear; heights, well, he never made me deal with that one, he said that heights is a healthy fear, he would compare jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to wrestling crocodiles; just plain stupid.
With all of my fears, swimming to this day is my biggest rival. I am not really a fan of swimming pools, and I cannot do a straight forward roll to save my life. During the time my father took me to the riding stables for the first time, he also took me to a dive shop where they told me to come back when I was 12 and could do a forward roll ( at that time those were mandatory requirements) Back to the swimming pool I went, I mastered diving off the boards, but still could not do a forward roll, well after practise and lesson after lesson and still not getting anywhere with that bloody roll, I forgot about diving and swam only for fun. Another challenge that I had while swiming was that I would have trouble touching the bottom. I took deep shallow breaths and I had troubles letting all the air out of my lungs, still fearing the deep dark bottom of the pool.
When I turned 18 my father and I walked into the same shop from six years earlier and before I knew it I was signed up for a PADI open water S.C.U.B.A course. I will never forget that first time I used SCUBA in a pool, I was not prepared. I was so used to taking a deep breath while breathing that when it came time to put the breathing apparatus in my moulth I felt constantly air starved. That first lesson I went home in tears (well I was able to hold it in till I went in through the front door) I deffinitely did not think diving was for me. I told my dad that I did not think I could continue with this course, His response was try one more lesson then we will talk. I did and you know what; it didnt go so bad, I thought maybe I could finish the course. The third pool session however, I loved that sense of conquer, the feeling of being weightless, of being like a fish. Over that summer I finally finished and received my open water certificate by the time I turned 19.
For the next two years all I did besides work was dive, talk diving, dream diving, I quit boxing with one too many black eyes and tired of feeling punch drunk.
When I was 22 my father was working and living close to malibu, california. My life at that point was in need of some reconstructing, so when he asked if I wanted to live with him while I worked on SCUBA, I hit the road and went south. Even with all of my phobias and my need to procrastinate, I managed to pass my instructor exams with flying colours. Later however my fears came back and got the best of me. I knew that I wanted to be a great intructor, but I wasent convinced that I had enough actual diving experience or had what it takes, that little demon in the back of my head wouln't keep quiet.
When I turned 26 my wife, daughter, and I moved to campbell river so I could go to school to be a commercial diver, hoping that would give me the experience to feel truly confident. It did, for a minit. There we were in a new town, no money no friends, and that winter was really cold, none of that was good for the confidence, I received my unrestricted SCUBA, restricted surface supply and other tickets despite my lack of self confidence. I then went to work for a contract company that works for the fish farms in tofino, I just barely held on there for 10 months, my confidence up and down.
After leaving the Tofino situation, I bounced through three different dive jobs till I found a dive company that did a little of everything. I was placed on a boat called the Star Venture, it served as the pressure washing boat, this was where I worked for six months till they bounced me around to different jobs and different crews. That went on for another six months. After a year of working for that company I finally got a secure position with a crew and a work schedule that usually had me home at night, which was a very sweet gig which I stayed on for a year til work died down and then it was time to move on. With all of these experiences that I have dealt with, the many situations and different types of jobs, have greatly increased my confidence in my diving. I have come to the realization that there is one more fear that I must conquer before I can be a truly great instructor.
I first heard of toastmasters through Jeffrey Gitomers little book of series. It took me a few years to look into toastmasters. When I found out who to call it took me weeks of staring at the number before I picked up the phone. that demon in the back of my head that I mentioned earlier, hes getting quieter again for the moment, seems like every time I hold still he gets louder, when I knock those metaphorical walls down and begin to conquer my fears he goes away. Heres to knocking down those walls and never stop conquering your fears no matter how difficult or how many there are, one fear one step at a time.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
more then one way to fly
When I am asked to explain diving, the best explanation I can come up with (besides wet and cold) is that diving is just like flying.
You know when you are about to board the plane! That antsi feeling about going somewhere different, mixed with the jitters about flying, even if your not scared of heights; you know what I'm talking about; you have just spent two hours in the airport getting yourself organized, figuring out where to go, being analyzed by people who can send you home if they wish. As you are boarding the plane you start running through a check list of all the things that you may have forgotten or things that you need to do. Neither of which you can do anything about at the moment.
As you take your seat and the cabin pressurises; you immediately feel the squeeze; similar too entering a crowded elevator.You grab what you need out of your bag eg.gum and a book.
As the plane goes down the runway your heartbeat quickens as it begins take off, you feel the bump de bump of the wheels going inside the plane, you may feel a little tense anticipating the uncomfortable rise of the plane and as quickly as it starts it stops the plane becomes horizontal.
You realize that you are tense, you breathe in deeply, you may take a drink or pinch your nose to clear your ears, and your good, you relax, get settled and enjoy at least a few minuites until the cramped sensation takes over and you just need to stretch, go for a walk, but you can't there is nowhere for you to go. There is only so much you can do for comfort.
Going diving is quite like flying in a plane.
At your dive destination there may be someone checking your certifications and health.
You will definitely have the jitters and a great anticipation instead of a grimace, you will have a big grin that stretches across your face. Instead of gum you may use a decongesant to make sure that you will be able to equalize, which just like on a plane you may have to do this often.
When you have arrived and your getting geared up; you may feel anxiety about forgetting something or not quite remember the order of which things go, just like a stewardess; buddys and guides are there to help.
As you near the waters edge your heart rate quickens; you and your buddy make your safety checks.
In diving you are the pilot, your buddy is co-pilot, in SCUBA divings case however you each have your own plane which each of you are responsible for.
You and your buddy step in to the water. In this scenario, it's cold, green and clear; pristine diving conditions. You look at your feet, viz (visibility) looks good, you smile at your buddy, he points out a family of seals sun bathing on the rocks. Your smile is now so big your hoping that you will be able to keep your regulator in your moulth.
The two of you dip your masks and submerge your heads to climatize your selves; you both lay back and don your fins. The two of you swim out to the guide and the rest of the group, you, are not in a rush, you are there for the experience, all of it.
As you and your buddy descend into the water; you are only concentrating on one thing, breathing slowly in and out. You know from your training that if you let too much air out you will sink like a rock to the bottom leaving very little time to equalize your pressure spots which result in a squeeze. If you hold too much air in; not only will you feel cramped, you will have trouble getting down. Slowly you descend the line; you check your depth gauge; your at 40 ft; you see the bottom about 10 ft below you, it slopes down from there. You and your buddy rotate your body so your heads are pointing down and you begin to swim down the slope.
One of the differences between diving and flying is that to start a dive you descend, and to finish you ascend, if one were to try that in a plane, either they wouln't get off the ground or the concequences would be dire.
In SCUBA diving how you descend and ascend makes you the pilot. If you simply drop like a rock to descend and then crawl along the bottom, and when ascending you climb up the line, you may agree with me on the feeling of boarding a plane, flying however perhaps not.
Once you have mastered your breathing and your air intake|outake of your suit and your buoancy control device (bcd) you will have mastered buoancy control.
Now you are the pilot and you can fly, you can soar with the manta rays and whale sharks, you can hover over a delicate coral reef; you and your group may decide to swim in a V formation like the canadian geese.
You are the pilot, you are in control, it takes time to get to that point, it takes practise.
We all start out as passengers with the anxiety and the cramped squeezes; when going up and down feels more like a freight elevator than flying, however with practise you will get there, you will be invited into the cockpit, you will be able to play with the gauges and do-hickeys. Soon enough you will be soaring into a completely different world and who knows maybe one day I will be your co-pilot. Happy flying
You know when you are about to board the plane! That antsi feeling about going somewhere different, mixed with the jitters about flying, even if your not scared of heights; you know what I'm talking about; you have just spent two hours in the airport getting yourself organized, figuring out where to go, being analyzed by people who can send you home if they wish. As you are boarding the plane you start running through a check list of all the things that you may have forgotten or things that you need to do. Neither of which you can do anything about at the moment.
As you take your seat and the cabin pressurises; you immediately feel the squeeze; similar too entering a crowded elevator.You grab what you need out of your bag eg.gum and a book.
As the plane goes down the runway your heartbeat quickens as it begins take off, you feel the bump de bump of the wheels going inside the plane, you may feel a little tense anticipating the uncomfortable rise of the plane and as quickly as it starts it stops the plane becomes horizontal.
You realize that you are tense, you breathe in deeply, you may take a drink or pinch your nose to clear your ears, and your good, you relax, get settled and enjoy at least a few minuites until the cramped sensation takes over and you just need to stretch, go for a walk, but you can't there is nowhere for you to go. There is only so much you can do for comfort.
Going diving is quite like flying in a plane.
At your dive destination there may be someone checking your certifications and health.
You will definitely have the jitters and a great anticipation instead of a grimace, you will have a big grin that stretches across your face. Instead of gum you may use a decongesant to make sure that you will be able to equalize, which just like on a plane you may have to do this often.
When you have arrived and your getting geared up; you may feel anxiety about forgetting something or not quite remember the order of which things go, just like a stewardess; buddys and guides are there to help.
As you near the waters edge your heart rate quickens; you and your buddy make your safety checks.
In diving you are the pilot, your buddy is co-pilot, in SCUBA divings case however you each have your own plane which each of you are responsible for.
You and your buddy step in to the water. In this scenario, it's cold, green and clear; pristine diving conditions. You look at your feet, viz (visibility) looks good, you smile at your buddy, he points out a family of seals sun bathing on the rocks. Your smile is now so big your hoping that you will be able to keep your regulator in your moulth.
The two of you dip your masks and submerge your heads to climatize your selves; you both lay back and don your fins. The two of you swim out to the guide and the rest of the group, you, are not in a rush, you are there for the experience, all of it.
As you and your buddy descend into the water; you are only concentrating on one thing, breathing slowly in and out. You know from your training that if you let too much air out you will sink like a rock to the bottom leaving very little time to equalize your pressure spots which result in a squeeze. If you hold too much air in; not only will you feel cramped, you will have trouble getting down. Slowly you descend the line; you check your depth gauge; your at 40 ft; you see the bottom about 10 ft below you, it slopes down from there. You and your buddy rotate your body so your heads are pointing down and you begin to swim down the slope.
One of the differences between diving and flying is that to start a dive you descend, and to finish you ascend, if one were to try that in a plane, either they wouln't get off the ground or the concequences would be dire.
In SCUBA diving how you descend and ascend makes you the pilot. If you simply drop like a rock to descend and then crawl along the bottom, and when ascending you climb up the line, you may agree with me on the feeling of boarding a plane, flying however perhaps not.
Once you have mastered your breathing and your air intake|outake of your suit and your buoancy control device (bcd) you will have mastered buoancy control.
Now you are the pilot and you can fly, you can soar with the manta rays and whale sharks, you can hover over a delicate coral reef; you and your group may decide to swim in a V formation like the canadian geese.
You are the pilot, you are in control, it takes time to get to that point, it takes practise.
We all start out as passengers with the anxiety and the cramped squeezes; when going up and down feels more like a freight elevator than flying, however with practise you will get there, you will be invited into the cockpit, you will be able to play with the gauges and do-hickeys. Soon enough you will be soaring into a completely different world and who knows maybe one day I will be your co-pilot. Happy flying
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